Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces?

Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces?

Nothing all the good ones are taken.

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven?

A microwave stops when you open the door.

What is the difference between God and a social worker?

What is the difference between God and a social worker?

God doesn't pretend to be a social worker.

What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

There have been sightings of UFO's.

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody ...

The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get ...

Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why?

Theres no place like home ...

What's the difference between a blonde and your job?

What's the difference between a blonde and your job?

Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Whats the difference between a used car salesman and a software salesmen?

Whats the difference between a used car salesman and a software salesmen?

The used car salesman knows when he's lying.

What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and O. J. Simpson?

What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and O. J. Simpson?

Christopher Reeves got the electric chair ... and OJ walked!

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.

What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best ...

What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?

Only the first one can make you smile.

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?

Some traffic signs say stop.

What's the difference between a Lady in the church and lady in the bathtub?

What's the difference between a Lady in the church and lady in the bathtub?

One has Hope in her Soul and One has Soap in her Hole!

What is the difference between men and government bonds?

What is the difference between men and government bonds?

The bonds mature.

So there were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. ...

So there were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said,"I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."

The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."