A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of ...

A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.

After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price."

Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."

What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

There have been sightings of UFO's.

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground ...

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down.

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female ...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then closed and went back into the house.

A little later she came out of her house again and went to the mail box. She opened and shut it again. Angrily, she went back to the house.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her: "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied: "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying: 'You've got mail!'"

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?

Data transfer.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can remember them.

What's the difference between a blonde and your job?

What's the difference between a blonde and your job?

Your job still sucks after 6 months.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can remember them.

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground ...

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down.

Why did the blonde climb over a glass wall?

Why did the blonde climb over a glass wall?

To see what was on the other side.

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?

Branch Manager.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?

Artificial intelligence.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground ...

If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down.

What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

1) There are some things even a blonde won't do.
2) Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't stop until it gets blood.

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her ...

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!"

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked. "Why not?"

She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

A blonde desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she ...

A blonde desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she went to the park and she grabbed this kid.

Then she wrote a note saying, "If you ever want to see your child again, leave 10,000 dollars in a paper bag in the northwest corner of the park." then she signed it 'THE BLONDE' and told the kid to give it to his mom.

The next day she went to the northwest corner of the park and got the paper bag. It had the money in it and a note from the mother that said, "How could you do this to another blonde?"

A blonde desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she ...

A blonde desperately needed some money, so she decided to kidnap someone. So she went to the park and she grabbed this kid.

Then she wrote a note saying, "If you ever want to see your child again, leave 10,000 dollars in a paper bag in the northwest corner of the park." then she signed it 'THE BLONDE' and told the kid to give it to his mom.

The next day she went to the northwest corner of the park and got the paper bag. It had the money in it and a note from the mother that said, "How could you do this to another blonde?"

Two young blonde women were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the ...

Two young blonde women were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one ball about three feet from the cup, while the other ball somehow had gone directly in.

The blondes tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the clubhouse and asked the golf pro for a ruling.

After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions the pro asked, "Okay, so who was playing the yellow ball?"

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

You only have to put information into a computer once.